The Wife As Helper
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Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18 NASV).

Much of the marital conflict in the couples we counsel results because the husband is rejecting the help God is providing him through his wife. He does not recognize that, without her, he is alone, meaning a part, separate, incomplete, and that he needy. Instead, he structures his life and insulates his heart so as to exclude her.

His wife intuitively knows that he needs her in the midst of his heart if he is to be complete and to grow in God. Therefore she presses to get inside of him. Rather than trusting her as his helper, he interprets her attempts as attacks. He sees her as nagging, controlling, domineering, and interfering. Not understanding that she is attempting to do her job as a helper, he responds defensively. He puts her at further distance from him and isolates them both.

This cycle can occur in a way that is either very heated or very cold. Either way, both spouses hurt. And together they suffer the loss of the blessings God has for them.

Through understanding, humility, and repentance, the grace of God can turn this cycle around and bring a husband and wife into true oneness and intimacy.

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