"Helper" Means "Surround"
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"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him'" (Genesis 2:18 NASV).

"For this cause a man...shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 NASV).

Marriage is a spiritual event that joins two people into one flesh. Whether they are Christian or not, or knowledgeable or not, the connection takes place when they enter into marriage.

Many times, a couple does not understand aspects of the nature of that connection. For example, the wife is joined to the husband as a helper. The term "helper" comes from the Hebrew word "help," which is defined as "to surround or gird, hence to protect, aid, or defend."

Her placement and role are analogous to how the physical rib surrounds and girds the heart about, aiding and protecting it. Thus the wife is positioned very closely to her husband, and her function is very much on the inside of him.

Husbands often react to how closely and intimately God positions their wives in them. She is there surrounding him, but he misunderstands and feels closed in on and pressured. He can misread it as being demanded on, controlled, even threatened and attacked. Naturally, he may resist, pulling away and pushing against his wife. Thus he may thrust his help far from him, rather than receive and embrace her, thus securing the love and help God intended.

In counseling, we work to help couples correct the misunderstandings they have of God's design for marriage. Our desire is that they lay hold of the relationship that God intends for them to enjoy.

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