"Helper" Means "Surround"
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"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not
good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for
him'" (Genesis 2:18 NASV).
"For this cause a man...shall cleave
to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 NASV).
Marriage is a spiritual
event that joins two people into one flesh. Whether they are Christian
or not, or knowledgeable or not, the connection takes place when they
enter into marriage.
Many times, a couple does
not understand aspects of the nature of that connection. For example,
the wife is joined to the husband as a helper. The term "helper" comes
from the Hebrew word "help," which is defined as "to surround or gird,
hence to protect, aid, or defend."
Her placement and role
are analogous to how the physical rib surrounds and girds the heart
about, aiding and protecting it. Thus the wife is positioned very
closely to her husband, and her function is very much on the inside of
Husbands often react to
how closely and intimately God positions their wives in them. She is
there surrounding him, but he misunderstands and feels closed in on and
pressured. He can misread it as being demanded on, controlled, even
threatened and attacked. Naturally, he may resist, pulling away and
pushing against his wife. Thus he may thrust his help far from him,
rather than receive and embrace her, thus securing the love and help God
In counseling, we work to
help couples correct the misunderstandings they have of God's design for
marriage. Our desire is that they lay hold of the relationship that God
intends for them to enjoy.
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